How to spot a romance scam and where to report it

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam, or romance fraud, is when someone fakes a romantic relationship, usually online, to win your trust and then take your money. Police in the UK also call some versions "pig butchering", where the fake romance leads into a fake investment.

The scammer creates a false identity, finds someone on a dating site or social media, and builds what feels like a real relationship. They message often, remember details, and make you feel seen. Weeks or months later, a problem appears that only money can fix.

These are not lone chancers. Many are run by organised groups who work from scripts, share stolen photos and handle several victims at once. Clever, sensible people get caught every day. The shame belongs to the people who do it, never to the people they target.

The warning signs

Any one of these can be innocent. Two or three together should make you stop and think.

• It's moving very fast. Declarations of love or talk of a future together within days.
• They want to leave the site straight away. A quick move to WhatsApp, Telegram or text, away from the site where they can be reported.
• They can't meet, ever. Always abroad, offshore, deployed, or about to visit, but something always gets in the way.
• They avoid video calls. Broken cameras, bad signal, shyness. Or a call that's very short, blurry or strangely one-sided.
• The details don't add up. Their spelling, grammar or knowledge of where they claim to live doesn't match their profile.
• They ask you to keep it secret. From friends, family or your bank.
• There's pressure and urgency. Everything has to happen today, and hesitating is treated as a lack of love or trust.
• Money comes up. However it's framed, this is the big one.

The stories scammers tell

The scripts change, but the shape is familiar. This table sets out the common ones and what the request usually turns into.

The last one is sextortion: blackmail using intimate images or video. Don't pay, stop contact, keep the evidence and report it to the police. If you're worried an image will be shared online, StopNCII.org is a free tool that helps stop intimate images being posted on the platforms that take part, without you having to send the image to anyone.

On a fishing site, expect some scammers to borrow the hobby. A profile that's all stock-looking photos of anglers holding huge fish, with very little real detail about where and how they fish, deserves a second look. Our guide to fish photos on a dating profile explains what genuine anglers tend to post.

How to check a match

Most checks take ten minutes and are worth doing before you share anything personal.

1. Ask for a video call early. A real person will usually manage one within a week or two. A call that never happens is an answer in itself.
2. Search their photos. A reverse image search, such as Google image search or TinEye, can show whether the pictures belong to someone else or appear under different names.
3. Ask specific questions. Someone who really fishes the Severn or lives in Whitby can tell you something only a local would know: the car park, the café, which peg floods.
4. Watch for copied text. If their messages feel generic or don't quite answer what you asked, they may be working from a script.
5. Talk to someone you trust. Scammers rely on secrecy. A friend's view from outside can be very clarifying.
6. Meet in person, in public, before any trust is given. Our safety page explains how.

What to say if they ask for money

You don't need a long explanation. A short, firm reply ends the conversation on your terms. For example:

"I don't send money to anyone I haven't met in person. If you're genuine, you'll understand."

Then watch what happens. A real person may be disappointed but will accept it. A scammer usually pushes harder, gets angry, sulks, or comes back with a new emergency. That reaction tells you what you need to know.

The one rule

Never send money, gift cards, crypto, bank details or ID documents to someone you've met online and haven't met in person. Not for an emergency, not as a loan, not for an investment, not to help them visit. If a match asks, the answer is no, and the relationship is very likely not what it seems.

Where to report a romance scam

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report romance fraud to Report Fraud, which replaced Action Fraud in December 2025. In Scotland, report it to Police Scotland on 101.

Report the profile too. Contact the members help centre with the member's username and what happened. Our contact page explains what to include.

Keep evidence before you block anyone: screenshots of the profile, the messages, any usernames or phone numbers they used, and payment receipts. Your bank and the police will want them.

If you've already paid

Act quickly, and start with your bank. The sooner it knows, the better the chance of stopping or recovering a payment.

1. Call your bank. Dial 159 or the number on the back of your card. Stop any further payments.
2. Report it using the table above.
3. Secure your accounts. Change passwords for anything you've shared details about, and turn on two-step sign-in.
4. Protect your identity. If you've shared ID documents or bank details, check your credit file regularly. Cifas, the UK fraud prevention service, offers Protective Registration, which adds extra checks when someone applies for credit in your name.
5. Stop contact. Don't reply to new stories or apologies.

In the UK, since 7 October 2024, banks and payment firms must reimburse most victims of authorised push payment (APP) scams, where you were tricked into making a bank transfer by Faster Payments or CHAPS, up to £85,000 per claim. Payments made in cash, gift cards or crypto are much harder to recover.

Then be careful: people who've been scammed are often targeted again by "recovery agents" who promise to get the money back for a fee. That's another scam. Report Fraud's advice is to hang up on them.

Getting support

Losing money this way can feel humiliating, and it isn't. It's also normal to grieve the relationship itself, not only the money.

In England and Wales, Victim Support offers free, confidential help on 08 08 16 89 111, whether or not you've reported the crime. Friends and family can help too, once you're ready to tell them. If you're struggling to cope, your GP is a good place to start.

How Fish For Singles fits in

Photos on Fish For Singles are reviewed, but what members write isn't checked, and profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network. That's why we'd rather you knew these signs than assumed every profile is genuine. More detail is on how it works, our first messages guide shows what a genuine conversation tends to look like, and is Fish For Singles legit? sets out what is and isn't checked.