In short
First messages that get a reply are short, mention something specific from the other person's profile, and end with an easy question. Fish For Singles suggests two or three sentences, no copy-and-paste lines, and nothing about looks. On Fish For Singles, reading and replying to messages needs a paid membership.
| Length | Two to four sentences |
|---|---|
| Shape | Their profile, a line about you, one easy question |
| No reply? | One friendly nudge after a few days, then move on |
| Never | Send money to someone you haven't met |
| On Fish For Singles | Reading and replying needs a paid membership |
The three-part message
A good first message has three parts: something specific from their profile, a line about you, and an easy question. That shape works because it proves you've read their profile and gives them something simple to answer.
- Something specific from their profile. It shows you've read it.
- A little about you. One line, connected to what they said.
- An easy question. Something they can answer in a sentence and might enjoy answering.
Example: "You fish the Wye for barbel? I've only ever caught chub there, so I'm officially jealous. What's the best swim you'll admit to?"
That's it. No life story, no compliments on their eyes, no "hey".
Why "hey" doesn't work
A one-word opener puts all the work on the other person, so most people don't bother replying. They have to think of something to say from scratch. The same goes for copy-and-paste lines sent to everyone: people can tell.
Comments on looks are risky too. "You're gorgeous" may be meant kindly, but it says nothing about why you'd get on, and it can feel uncomfortable from a stranger.
Openers that work, and ones that don't
The difference between a message that gets ignored and one that gets a reply is usually one specific detail. These are examples to show the idea.
| Instead of... | Try something like... | Why it's better |
|---|---|---|
| "Hey" | "A fellow canal walker. Which stretch is your favourite?" | Gives them something to answer |
| "You're stunning" | "That photo on the harbour wall looks like a great day. Where was it?" | About their life, not their body |
| "Tell me about yourself" | "You say you're learning to fly fish. Has the river won yet?" | Specific and easy to reply to |
| A paragraph about you | Two lines about them, one about you | Leaves room for a conversation |
| "Want to meet?" in message one | Chat first, then suggest a short coffee | Builds trust before meeting |
Example openers
These are examples to adapt, not scripts. Use what's in the actual profile.
For anglers messaging anglers
Example: "Another tench fan. Float or feeder, and are you a dawn person or an evening person?"
Example: "Your profile says you've fished every pier in Devon. Which one would you take a first-timer to?"
Example: "Saw the sea trout picture. Night fishing, or did you get lucky in daylight?"
Example: "Dry fly purist or secret nymph angler? I promise not to judge, much."
For non-anglers messaging an angler
Example: "I've never held a rod, but I'm intrigued by anyone who gets up at 4am on purpose. What's the appeal, honestly?"
Example: "I'd be useless at the fishing but excellent at bringing the flask. Where's your favourite place to fish?"
For anglers messaging non-anglers
Example: "You mentioned loving coastal walks. Do you have a favourite stretch? I'm always looking for an excuse to be by the sea that isn't fishing."
Example: "Your dog looks like trouble in the best way. What's their name, and do they swim?"
Using a fish photo
Example: "That's a proper pike. Personal best? And who took the photo, because they deserve credit for the light."
Replying when someone messages you first
A good reply answers their question, adds one detail and asks something back. That keeps the conversation balanced instead of turning it into an interview.
Example: "Barbel, mostly, though the chub keep gatecrashing. Best swim stays a secret until at least the third date. Do you fish, or did the photos give it away?"
If you're not interested, a short, kind "Thanks for the message, but I don't think we're a match" is a kind alternative to silence, though you don't owe anyone a reply.
If they don't reply
No reply usually means busy, not checking often, or not interested, and you can't tell which. Send one friendly follow-up after a few days if you like, ideally with something new to say, then move on.
Example: "No worries if you're busy. I just found out the café by that lake does a proper bacon roll, so the offer of a coffee stands."
Don't send a string of messages, ask why they've gone quiet or comment on whether they've been online. It rarely changes the answer.
Keeping it going, and suggesting a meeting
Once they reply, match their energy: answer their questions, ask one back, and let the conversation wander. If it's flowing after a few days, suggest a call or a short meeting somewhere public.
Be specific, and leave room for "not yet":
Example: "I'm enjoying this. Fancy a coffee at the café by the river on Saturday morning? An hour, no pressure, and if you'd rather a quick video call first, that's fine too."
Our guide to fishing as a first date has a ready-made idea, and outdoor date ideas has plenty more that don't involve a rod.
Warning signs in early messages
Most people you message are just people, but profile details aren't checked, so it's sensible to know the warning signs of a romance scam. Romance fraud is when someone builds a fake relationship online to get money or personal details.
Be wary if someone:
- wants to move to another messaging app or email straight away;
- declares strong feelings within days;
- always has a reason not to video call or meet;
- tells a story about being abroad, at sea or on a rig;
- mentions money, gift cards, crypto or an investment, however indirectly.
Never send money to someone you haven't met. Report the profile to the members help centre, and if you've lost money, call your bank and report it to Report Fraud (England, Wales and Northern Ireland) or Police Scotland on 101. Read how to spot a romance scam for the common scripts.
Messaging someone who joined through a partner site
Some of the people you see on Fish For Singles joined through partner sites in the same network, and their profile shows which site that was. They may never have held a rod, so don't assume fishing is common ground.
Read their profile as carefully as you would anyone's and open with what they've actually written: a place, a pet, a hobby, a strong opinion about tea. If they seem curious about the outdoors, the non-angler openers above work well. If fishing clearly isn't their thing, that's fine too; plenty of good conversations start somewhere other than the bank.
How messaging works on Fish For Singles
You can join, build your profile and browse for free. To read messages and reply, you'll need a paid membership; details are on prices. Priority messages are an optional extra, and you don't need them to start a conversation. Profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network, so some people you message will have joined elsewhere and may not fish at all. If your profile needs work before you start, read our profile tips for anglers.
Join Fish For Singles free
Free to join and browse. Reading and replying to messages is paid.
Questions people ask
How long should a first dating message be?
Two to four sentences is the sweet spot. That's long enough to show you've read their profile and say something about yourself, and short enough that replying feels easy rather than like homework. Save the longer stories for when you're both chatting properly.
Should I send a follow-up if they don't reply?
One friendly nudge after a few days is fine, especially if it adds something new rather than asking why they haven't answered. After that, move on. People get busy, lose interest or don't check in often, and silence is an answer in itself.
When should I suggest meeting someone from a dating site?
Once you've had a good back-and-forth and ideally a phone or video call, often within a week or two. Suggest something short, public and in daylight, give a specific idea rather than a vague 'we should meet', and make it easy for them to say not yet.
Is it all right to message first?
Yes. On a dating site, someone has to start, and a thoughtful first message is a perfectly normal way to do it. The person who messages first isn't keener or needier; they just got there first. Make it specific to their profile and it reads as interest, not pressure.
What should I avoid saying in a first message?
Skip one-word openers, copy-and-paste lines, comments on someone's body, and anything sexual. Don't share your phone number, address or workplace yet, and don't ask for theirs. Leave heavy topics, such as exes, for when you know each other better.
Keep reading
- Should you post a photo holding a fish on a dating profile?When a fish photo helps your profile, when it doesn't, and how to take a good one.
- Is Fish For Singles legit? Who runs it, what it costs, what it checksWho runs Fish For Singles, what it costs, how billing works, and what is and isn't checked.
- Outdoor date ideas for when you're not fishingOutdoor date ideas beyond fishing, from walks and wildlife to food and rainy-day backups.
- How to spot a romance scam and where to report itThe warning signs of romance fraud, the common stories, how to check a match, and where to report it.
Sources
Checked 18 October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Tell us.