Can't log in to a dating app? Work through this list

Being locked out of an account is annoying at the best of times. When you've just started dating again and finally plucked up the nerve to reply to someone, it's worse. Take a breath: most lockouts are fixed in a few minutes. Work down this list in order and stop when you're back in.

One thing first. Fish For Singles is its own website, and it can't see or change accounts on any other dating site or app. If the account you're trying to reach was made somewhere else, every fix below still applies, but the help team you need is that service's own.

Check you're on the right site or app

It sounds obvious, but it's the most common reason a login fails. Many dating services have similar names, and the search result you clicked may not be the service you joined.

• Look in your inbox for the welcome email you got when you signed up. It shows the service's name and its real web address.
• Type that address yourself, or open the app you downloaded at the time, rather than clicking a search advert.
• If you joined through an app store, the app will be listed in your purchases or download history.

If the welcome email came from a different service, that's where your account lives.

Use the email or phone number you signed up with

Accounts are tied to one login: an email address, a phone number, or a "continue with" button for an existing account. If you're typing a different one, the site will say it doesn't recognise you, even though your profile is sitting there.

Try each email address you use, including old ones. If you signed up with a phone number or a social login, use the same button again rather than typing an email.

Reset your password the safe way

If the site recognises you but not your password, use the "forgotten password" link on the official login page.

1. Request the reset and wait a few minutes.
2. Check your spam and promotions folders.
3. Use the link in that email straight away, as reset links usually expire.
4. Choose a new password you haven't used anywhere else.

The National Cyber Security Centre suggests three random words joined together: long, easy for you to remember and hard for anyone else to guess. A password manager helps too.

Only ever reset a password from the login page you reached yourself. A message out of the blue that says "your dating account is locked, click here" is a common trick for stealing logins. If you get one, don't click: go to the official site and check from there.

Rule out an outage or an app problem

Sometimes it isn't you at all.

• Nothing loads, for anyone. The service may be down. Waiting is the only fix. Check its official website or social accounts for a notice.
• The app crashes or spins. Update it from your app store, or delete and reinstall it. Your account is stored by the service, not on your phone, so reinstalling doesn't lose your profile.
• The website misbehaves. Try a private browsing window or a different browser. Old saved data can trip up a login page.

If your account has been paused or asks for ID

Dating sites sometimes pause an account to protect it, for example after a login from somewhere new, several wrong passwords in a row, or a report from another member. You might be asked to confirm your email, wait a while, or show identification.

That can feel unsettling, but it is usually a routine check. Two simple rules keep you safe:

• Only upload ID through the service's own website or app.
• Never send ID, codes or passwords to someone who emails or messages you about your account. A real help team won't ask for your password.

If you think your account was taken over, change your password, and change it anywhere else you used the same one.

Still stuck? Who to ask

When none of this works, contact the service's own help team. You'll usually find it in the app's settings or a "help" or "contact" link at the bottom of its official website. Give them the email you think you used, roughly when you joined, and what happens when you try to log in. A screenshot of any error message helps.

If you've been asked for money to "unlock" an account, or you think someone you met online has your details, report it. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland that's Report Fraud; in Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101.

Logging in to Fish For Singles

If your account is with us, our log in help page has the members area link, the password reset and what to do if you're asked for ID. Billing and cancelling are on our account help page.

If you've been away from dating for a while and are wondering where to start again, our guide to online dating when you're out of practice is a good first read.