Moving in together again: the money and the law

Living together isn't a lesser marriage in law

Moving in with someone doesn't give you the legal status of a married couple, however long you stay together. "Common-law marriage" is a myth in every part of the UK. Citizens Advice notes that calling a couple common-law partners is just another way of saying they live together; Citizens Advice Scotland says plainly that common-law marriage does not exist in Scotland; and the Law Society of Northern Ireland describes the idea as a misconception.

That matters most if you've been married before. You may be used to the protections marriage gives, such as a right to stay in the family home or a share of pensions on divorce. Living together comes with far fewer of those, so it pays to decide some things on purpose rather than by default.

None of this needs to dampen the moment. Sorting it out early is the grown-up version of agreeing who gets which side of the wardrobe.

What changes, and what doesn't

The rules differ a little across the UK. This table gives the broad picture for unmarried partners.

In Scotland, household goods bought while you live together are presumed to be owned equally if you split, though money, vehicles and pets are excluded. The details have exceptions, and family law can change, so treat this as a starting point and take advice on your own situation.

The home: whose is it?

The biggest question is usually the house or flat. Citizens Advice explains that if you own the home alone, you have the right to stay there, and joint owners have equal rights. A partner who doesn't own the home may have to prove they have a "beneficial interest" in it, for example because they paid towards the mortgage or major work.

Common set-ups when one of you moves in:

• They move into your home, which you own. It generally stays yours. If they'll pay towards the mortgage or improvements, agree in writing what that means if you part.
• You buy somewhere together. Decide whether you'll own equal or unequal shares, and what happens to each share if one of you dies; your conveyancer will explain the options where you live. With a joint mortgage, you're both liable for the whole loan until it's repaid.
• You rent together. If you're both on the tenancy, you may both be responsible for all the rent.

A solicitor can draw up a declaration of trust setting out who owns what share, and a cohabitation agreement covering bills, savings and what happens if you separate. The Law Society of Northern Ireland notes that such an agreement can be legally binding if it's made under the right conditions.

Money, benefits and bills

Moving in changes more than whose name is on the post.

• Universal Credit. GOV.UK says that if you live with your partner, you'll both need to make a joint claim, and the amount depends on your partner's income and savings as well as your own. Report the change straight away.
• Council Tax. In England, you get 25% off if you live on your own. That discount ends when another adult moves in, so tell your council. (Northern Ireland has rates rather than Council Tax.)
• Maintenance from an ex-spouse. GOV.UK explains that maintenance payments can be set for a limited time or until one of you dies, marries or enters a new civil partnership. Living together isn't marriage, but a big change in your circumstances can lead your ex to ask the court to vary the order. Get advice before you move.
• Joint accounts and debts. You're generally only liable for debts in your own name, but some shared bills can make you jointly responsible. Citizens Advice gives Council Tax as an example. A joint account for household bills, with your own accounts kept separate, works well for many couples.

If you have children

Your children's financial position doesn't change because you move in with someone, but their home life does. Both legal parents remain responsible for supporting their children, whatever happens in your new relationship.

Before anyone moves in, think about timing, space and routine. Our guides to introducing children to a new partner and dating while you co-parent cover how to tell your ex and how to bring the children along gently. If your partner has children too, meeting their children is worth reading together.

Wills, pensions and "what if"

This is the part couples most often leave, and the part that causes most heartache later.

• Wills. Without a will, an unmarried partner doesn't automatically inherit what you own in your sole name. In Scotland a surviving partner can apply to court, but only within six months. If you want to look after each other, or make sure your children from a previous relationship inherit, make or update your wills.
• Pensions. Whether a partner gets anything from your pension depends on the scheme's rules. Many schemes ask you to fill in an "expression of wishes" form, so check yours.
• Inheritance tax. Married couples and civil partners can usually pass assets to each other free of inheritance tax. Unmarried partners don't get that exemption.

A checklist before the van arrives

1. Agree who owns the home now, and what happens to it if you part.
2. Decide how you'll split the mortgage or rent, bills and food, and write it down.
3. Check your benefits, tax credits or maintenance and report the change.
4. Tell your council about Council Tax.
5. Make or update your wills, and check pension nominations.
6. Think about the children's space, routine and the conversation with your ex.
7. Get advice from a family solicitor if either of you owns property or has significant savings.

Not rushing it

There's no prize for moving in quickly. Many people starting again after a divorce or a long relationship find it helps to wait until they've seen each other through a few ordinary months: a bad cold, a busy week at work, a family birthday. Our guide to dating again after a long relationship talks about pacing, and your first holiday together is a gentle trial run for sharing space.

How Fish For Singles fits

Fish For Singles is dating for anyone starting again, at their own pace. Joining, making a profile and browsing are free; reading and replying to messages needs a paid membership, explained on prices. This guide is general information, not legal advice. For your own situation, speak to a solicitor or a Citizens Advice adviser.